The State of the Union #1: Seven Words You Can’t Say On TV.


“There are some words, we have just decided that we just won’t say all the time.” – George Carlin.

My fellow Sojourners. My name is Catald, and Cels elected to give me the power to put my stuff on the front page of the guild website. Now I could use this new-found power for many purposes. I first thought of just writing a few pages of jokes, I am the morale officer after all. Then, I thought about explaining my plans for global domination. That won’t do. Then I just thought about posting the 7 words you don’t say on TV over and over, cut and paste, for pages and pages, since I was told to “clean up my vocabulary.”… That might set off a few filters at work, eh? And “State of the Union”? Makes me sound official.

But, I have a dream. I have a dream that one day my thoughts and dreams won’t be delegated to the back of the bus, but will fill every seat. Because, I have a busload of ideas. See what I did there?

Alright, serious face on… I had this narrowed down to 2 ideas. First was gonna be me going off about Paladin things. Welp, even though I’m Naaru’s gift to women, and even some men, I decided against it. Anyone can write a paladin blog. I have more to offer Soj than just that. Then I started thinking about Ephemeron. No, it isn’t the latest model from Buick, although that would be pretty sweet. It’s my other guild. The one I run on Diablo 3. Yea, THAT Diablo, the other franchise Blizzard owns. Not the one dominated by Koreans living in houses together. Not the pretty card game. Really? Some people still don’t know what Diablo is? WELL THEN.

Diablo takes place on an alternate universe from earth. And not Azeroth either. It’s a fantastic place called Sanctuary, and the story for the last 3 games have centered around a place called Tristram. It’s a quiet little town, full of npc’s that are incredibly annoying. Then underneath there’s this cute little demon named Diablo. Well, thing is, he’s not to happy about being under the ground and he wants to come up and visit. Maybe to try the taste of steak for the first time, who am I to judge. Either way, he’s a little ticked off, and he’s coming for your face. You play the protagonist who is a “nephalem”, its a fancy title you get from the Angels (oh yea, there’s angels and demons too.. forgot that.) and your main objective in life is to put Diablo back to bed with a warm glass of milk and a story. Enter today, Diablo 3 was one of the fastest selling games of all time. It’s a little popular. It’s across 5 platforms now, PC, Xbox, and PSX. Diablo’s back, this time he’s as angry as ever, and you’ll be taking the fight all over the place. I don’t want to spoil too much. It’s a great game, it’s got a pretty decent community, and it’s really easy to pick up. I recommend it to everyone.

ANYWAYS. That was a large tangent. My objective of my “blog posts” is to educate and inform my friends and family in Sojourner of the news and events of the OTHER Blizzard titles, since I buy them the day of release usually and I keep pretty active on all of them. And I’m going to educate people on what they actually are as well. This week we talked about Diablo, my other love aside from WoW. Tune in next week I’ll find some other game to talk about at length. But first, the NEWS!

In Diablo, we’re seeing the end of Season 3 on 08/23, and the start of season 4 on 08/28. If you ever had an inclination to pick it up, now is a GREAT time. Coming this season, much like others, are new items, 3 new item sets, and new seasonal rewards just for playing. And just because you missed out on 1-3, if Blizzard does what they have been, the rewards should be coming back at some point so everyone has a chance to get them. Also, they’re redesigning the way Rifts and Greater Rifts work, as in you don’t need a key for rifts, there’s no Greater Rift test, you just choose what level you want to play on. Plus nerfing and buffing like every patch. But it’s an exciting time to be a Diablo fan.

All this talk about Diablo makes a nice segue into Heroes of the Storm. Maybe I’ll talk about that next week. Anyways. HotS has had some neat changes lately, including a plethora of Diablo heroes and a new map since release. I notice there are a few Soj’ers that I see on HotS occasionally, it might be cool to see more. It’s a fun game, a little like League of Legends but without the … mean players. (that took entirely too long to think of a pg-13 word for… lol) Rounds aren’t long so it’s a good game if you have a bit of time but can’t get lost in it for hours. Anywho, there’s a current event on that has you killing goblins (they’re from Diablo, fast fact…) and after killing 50 of them (there’s a chance on the start of each game) you get a free picture for your account. Plus, you get extra gold. And who doesn’t like extra gold?

Gold eh? BAM that’s my segue into Hearthstone. Man, it’s just flowing today. So, Hearthstone’s got that brand new card expansion coming out. At time of writing (08/21) theres an event going on in the Tavern Brawl that lets you try playing with some of the new cards. Just like all the expansions and single player stuff that the Hearthstone team puts out, this is based on a WoW event, and this one is the Argent Tourney. Well, that just so happened to be one of my favorite chunks of WoW, so i’m a little excited. I hope they do something with the raid though, maybe an Anub’Arak or something. But that’s coming down the pipes “soonish”.

OH. and that said, A special shout out to Deathlly, who posted to our Facebook his 500th win as a mage, and rank 3 this season. I tip my hat at you, sir.

Speaking of switching hats, this brings me to Overwatch. Anyone that knows me knows I like FPS. And Blizzard. Combine the two, and you get magic. It’s like combining steak with ice cream. This is gonna be good. But. It’s not out yet. So I wait patiently. But my Blizzard Launcher has an icon for it, so I suppose that means something?

And my last article, that brings me to StarCraft. Normally, this ranks a little below Diablo. But, Me and StarCraft are having an argument right now. See, Blizzard doesn’t like my choice of operating systems (being that I’m using Windows 10 now) and decided that after 6 months of technical preview and now, what, a month of being fully released, StarCraft players aren’t allowed to upgrade. So I can’t get past “authenticating”. This makes me a sad panda. Legacy of the Void, the next expansion, is coming down the pipes in the near future. And it rotates around Protoss, which are just cool as heck. So I’m a little happy about it. But know this Blizzard: I’m not buying it if I have to switch from Windows 10. You want to alienate your Linux userbase on ALL of your products, that’s fine, we’ll work around it. It’s our choice to use free software. But when you pull the same kind of crap with Windows 10 users and give the same reasoning as to why it doesn’t work, that is NOT cool. Let me tell you this: I called Blizz for tech support with WoW, the issue was clearly with the client and not Linux. The tech told me that the issue is my problem because I can’t run “dxdiag” from TERMINAL because I’m using Linux. Running it from command prompt isn’t enough for blizz. Fast forward a year and I’m using Windows 10, and I call for SC support, and I get told that the issue is my Operating System and I should consider using Windows 7 if I want to play games. Thanks for the help Blizz.

Anyways, I’m done ranting. When Blizz fixes SC, I’ll cover SC. Until then, they’re on hiatus.

Welp, I’ve been writing enough for this week. SEE ATA I CAN BE PG. I wrote 1400+ words and none of them I wouldn’t say in front of my grandparents. And I leave you with this:

grumpy_cat_meme_2_by_jinxxnixx-d5m15cj

Thank you, Naaru bless and the Light speed,

Catald.